Many things have changed since my last post I think. I also think it will take a while to unpack them all. For one, I'm not afraid of adventures anymore. Not like I was, anyway.
I think I'm more ready to step onto the Enterprise than I was six months ago, thanks to God. The phrase "love casts out fear" has taken on a new meaning for me. The more I have begun to understand God's love for me, the less I am afraid of silly things like getting on a bus and travelling for thirty hours to Colorado. Sure, it's not for everyone and no, I don't recommend travelling just for the sake of travelling. There should be some kind of purpose to it. Mine was to get to my family here in Colorado Springs and to try and figure out why the heck God told me to come here. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the priviledge of such an adventure which includes climbing mountains and coming down the sheer faces of giant rocks, but I have no real reason to be here. I didn't have a job waiting. I'm not looking to settle down yet. My family and I aren't exactly in sync (no matter how much we've all changed because of this) and I only have one real friend here outside of my family. Doesn't seem promising, does it?
I'm trying to keep my heart open and my eyes searching...God has to have something up his sleeve. I know I'm supposed to be here, but, on the outside, there doesn't seem to be much happening. I'm thankful for much right now, though--the chance to spend time with my family (which hasn't happened in seven years), a wonderful new place to explore, a good friend to explore with, and, of course, continuing chances to know the Lord more.
I've noticed themes of restoration around corners here and there. Maybe my summer has more to do with that and less to do with paying off my debt. God will honor me if I obey him, I just have to trust him. It'd be nice to be let in on the plan once in a while though.
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