adventures in motherhood

Yes, everyone, it's true, I am a mother.

PSYCHE!

Nope, not yet, I just feel like one with the types of jobs I've had lately. I have started nannying for a 6 month old overnight three days a week, and lemme tell you, I have learned a lot about motherhood already and it's only been the first week. Prior to this, and even during this past week, I have also been baby-sitting a ton for several different families from my church. I have enjoyed observing the different parenting styles and kids these parents turn out; it's very interesting, to say the least.

One thing that has really been blasted in my face is the importance of parenting a child. I've known and understood for a little while now how important it is to be present with your kids, to really teach them, as I've been baby-sitting since I was ten years old (well, technically I was a live-in sitter for my youngest sister I guess. Mom says I was her second mom. :) This week, though, I see how crucial parenting, especially mothering, is in a child's life. A baby comes out knowing nothing but what it feels. It is the parent's job to teach it things about sleeping at certain times, eating good foods, being kind to others, respecting adults, etc. Kids don't just pop out knowing all this stuff, as much as we would like them to. It's important to not let them just run the show, especially not in the name of love. Some parents think they love their child, but letting him or her dictate how the day goes is a recipe for disaster, in my opinion, and not an example of true love. Contrary to a popular belief, this isn't what God does with us when we are newby Christians; we have to want and try to listen to him, he doesn't just step in and take over. Usually we are listening, but we don't do exactly what he says because we don't like it for this reason or that. A child has to choose to be responsive, and they usually will, but what child doesn't put up a little resistance to what the parent wants? They have a brain, just because it isn't fully developed doesn't mean they are incapable of making choices. It's the same for God.

I had a realization that I hope I get to use in a sermon someday about babies and baby Christians. The baby I nanny for has been experiencing some gas issues; she seems to be in a lot of pain when she needs to burp but it just won't come out. So she often wakes up in the middle of the night or interrupts a happy moment by suddenly pealing out in screams. I pick her up, rock her, walk around, pat her back, anything to help relieve her pain and calm her down. Then, she burps. Usually it's not very big. As I lay in bed one night, shortly after she'd woken up with one of these spells, I was thinking about how my back was hurting a lot that day and the fact that I wasn't screaming about it. Then it hit me; I am older and know more about my body and the world around me than that baby does, sweet as she is. I understand that a little bit of pain is not the end of the world and life will go on with or without it; screaming doesn't really help me any. (don't get me wrong, I've screamed in pain before, but now it's only for extreme pain, which is a high bar for me.)

Baby Christians (which can be any age, no matter how many years you've "been with the Lord", let's face it) are prone to screaming when faced with trials, no matter the kind (they tend to scream over very small ones, and it's usually self-inflicted or because they aren't trusting God). And I'm not talking about productive screaming that releases things to God and stuff like that. No, screaming because it hurts and they don't know how to coherently communicate their needs or don't know how to deal with pain. They scream and scream about a little pain in their belly...and then they burp. Usually it's not very big. Then they have one of two reactions:  either they smile and laugh as God rocks them on his hip and life is good (until the next gas build up) or they get angry with God for not relieving their pain right away.

On the flip side, mature Christians tend to be the ones who know how to deal with pain (who also can be at any age, young or old). Plainly said, it's because they don't see the pain. Let me qualify:  they see it all right, and feel it just as strongly, if not more so (since it's usually bigger issues), but they have learned to look beyond it towards the prize. Pain in this life, especially from trials, is temporal and nothing compared with the glory we have in Christ. They scream only when pressed to the point where their faith ends (because everyone is at a different place in their faith, depending on the area we're talking about) and it's still not to blame God. Their joy is lasting, their peace surpasses all understanding. They walk in the Fruit God gave us, so why wouldn't it be this way?

So, which kind of Christian are you? Obviously there are stages in between, just like with kids, but where are you on the spectrum? I'm not trying to imply that this is an act of works; Jesus is the good shepherd, HE is the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but by him, so it's not based on what we do to attain goodness, but whether or not we accept the gift that is already there. You may be more of a baby Christian than you realize.

Anyway, I've learned this week that not only do I want to be a mature Christian, but I also want to parent my children well. This is the future we're talking about, folks. Are you really going to leave it up to chance? I want to parent my children into being mature Christians too, which more often than not means teaching them the foundations for having a relationship with Christ, and then letting them go. I don't mean we just let the bumpers down on the bowling lane, just that we don't try to push and shove them into the kind of Christian life we think they should have. If we lay the foundations correctly, you might just be surprised by how much they turn out to be like you wanted without your constant badgering.