As some of you may know, on my facebook for the past month or so I have been using my status updates as a way to encourage my friends and let them know what I really think about them. These are just a few thoughts on what I have learned about myself and my relationships even in just this short time.
I am not very good at constantly staying in touch with people. I am the kind of person that, when I've befriended you, come hell or high water I'm your friend forever, whether or not I call you all the time or write you, or whatever. I understand not everyone is like that, though. I want to find a balance, be a little bit better about that because I know some people take it personally and it affects how they think that I view them.
I am not very good at communicating how I feel about someone on a day to day basis, except in certain situations--even then, my abilities in this area are marginal at best. I am good at making them feel good and loved, but not in telling them why it is happening. It's usually not necessary, based on the type of bond you have with that person, but it is immensely important to at least remember why you are friends with them. It can help you evaluate whether or not the relationship is healthy, for one thing. For most people, I could tell them I loved them or that I appreciated them or what have you, and they'll think it's a nice sentiment, but it doesn't really sink in. I know this isn't entirely my fault; our culture has dumbed down these phrases (or Hallmarked them, if you will) to the point where they don't mean as much. We also hear these things from people who we know don't love us because they never show it in their actions, so we're numb to it. I want to be better and telling people why I love them, whether that be through words, or whatever.
People forget why they are friends with each other. Easily. Especially with the convenience of facebook. I know I don't unfriend people because of a) I'm afraid they'll think I hate them or b) I'm afraid that I'll someday need to be in contact with them and all of a sudden I'm cut off. That's silly, for one thing. I don't ever want to become numb to or forgetful of how I feel about someone and why I am friends with them.
People want to be recognized as one you love and cherish. It's not a selfish thing, it's a knowing thing. People like to know, be known, and sometimes be publicly recognized as important to someone else. It increases their feelings of worth--yes, this should be found in things other than the praises of other people, but shouldn't we do all we can to cultivate feelings of worth in each other? Don't become a crutch, but don't rip their hair out in an attempt for them to find their worth in Jesus or something either.
I have also learned that I have many close friends (I consider them close, at least) and I am, in many respects, a good friend. I don't say that with pride, conceit, or whatever, I say it because I know the Christ in me is a good friend (in every sense of the phrase), and my soul has learned much from the example that I have with me all the time. Despite my shortcomings, I am a better friend than I give myself credit for--how else could I have the number of good friends (caliber wise) that I do? I rag on myself a lot for feeling like I fail as a friend all the time or that I am not a good enough one, but really I shouldn't focus so much on what I'm not good at--it only keeps me from seeing what I am good at and why I am loveable.
Well, that's it for now. This has been a fun thing to do and I look forward to writing a status about each of you. :) Thanks for reading.
