the adventures of Aubrie and Dena: grass and salad

So the other day, Aubrie and I took a stroll down the driveway to my car so I could bring my stuff into the house that I would need to spend the night. When I say we strolled, both of us really did. It was Aubrie's first time walking down the driveway, to my knowledge, and she was stoked about it. At first she didn't want to hold my hand, but once we embarked down the inclined plane, she was clinging to me like a monkey on a banana.

I love how fearless this kid is; she wasn't clinging to me because she was scared, she just knew that she had better hold onto me if she didn't want to eat cement. She did stumble a couple of times, but because she was holding onto me, the impact wasn't as bad as it could have been. At another time I will write out the obvious spiritual metaphor in that image.

Her mom hadn't gotten her dressed for the day, as sometimes happened, so I strapped on tennis shoes over her polka dot footie pajama's. She loved walking to the car.

And she looked like a dork doing it. The cutest darn dork I have ever seen, that's for sure.

Instead of immediately emptying my beat up once-a-podracer car, I put Aubrie in the grass to play for a minute. She tried to eat dirt. I'm sure as hippy-tasting as that was, it didn't quite hit the spot.

She is uber fascinated by grass though; she loves touching things, and, of course, sticking them in her mouth. Once I realized she wasn't going to play in the grass so much as get her fill of it, I decided our outdoor adventure was done for the day.

The next day was Sunday. We went to church, I got a break for a couple of hours, it was a great time. Aubrie is a favorite with a lot of the people at my church. A couple of the nursery ladies told me how much they just love having her in the nursery; she loves playing with the other kids. They said there was a little boy crying in the corner near the end and Aubrie took a toy over to him and tried to make him feel better. This kids possesses so much natural grace and love it just makes me want to gush with love myself. Again, the spiritual metaphor is going to have to wait.

We were invited to join a few of my friends at Souper! Salad! for lunch after church. After nearly knocking my entire freshly made salad to the floor at the bar with her foot, Aubrie was sat in a high chair and we proceeded to eat lunch. Aubrie is almost always the loudest person in any place we go, so you can imagine that we got a lot of attention. One of my friends mistakenly gave her a napkin to play with; unfortunately, that's not the kind of fiber she needs in her diet, so I had to empty her mouth and her hands of it.

I was eating lunch with four of my good guy friends and one of them asked me if people think that Aubrie is my baby, to which I answered a prompt, "Yes." Everyone who doesn't know me thinks she's mine, especially at church, which I really don't understand. I'm a single girl, going to bible college, and Aubrie didn't appear in my life until she was six months old. I had been going to the church for nearly a year at this point. I was never pregnant, never even dating anyone, and yet apparently no one noticed me until I started bringing a baby to church. That says something about people I think.

I also told my friends that people often assume whatever guy I might be with is her father. Since there were four of them, I wonder how many people were trying to guess which one was her dad. The mystery is still in their minds.

Aubrie had some ice cream at Souper Salad. She never has ice cream. So why was I surprised when she played in her bed for two hours instead of taking a nap? I just feel like that had to be asked. She was a hoot at the youth leader meeting at the end of the day too; she felt her voice should be heard just as much as anyone else's as we discussed different things concerning the youth and its future. My favorite part of that meeting was watching Aubrie climb all over my good friend Derek, trying to touch his beard, giving him hugs that she reserves for the people she loves most, and him hesitantly playing with her right back. Aubrie doesn't care if you're uncomfortable or shy or anything, she's just going to love you.

When we finally made it home, she had crashed. Poor little tyke had had all the excitement she could take for one day, apparently, and so had I. I just love this kid.

As our summer days draw to an end, I'm seeing even more just how much of an adventure and rewarding experience this summer has been with Aubrie, let alone everything else I have been able to do. Stay tuned for more Aubrie moments. Thanks for reading. :)

the chronicles of Aubrie and Dena, part 1--dogs

Aubrie is one of the funniest kids I have ever met. I've decided that instead of being a little bummed about the fact that I am almost twenty-four years old and my main job is nannying, I'm going to take advantage of the hilarity I am privy to for most of my week and share it with all of my adoring readers. Thus begins the chronicles of Aubrie and Auntie Dena.

This is Aubrie.

Aubrie likes to talk. She likes to squawk. She is one ridiculous child. There are two dogs who live at the house regularly--Ben, who hacks like a sick old man, and Tassie, who is a loveable idiot. There is another dog who lives there from time to time (she's the grandma's dog) and her name is Racquel. I hate Racquel. Racquel thinks Aubrie is another dog and therefore wants to dominate her. She has also tried to dominate me in the past, but I stamped that right out. Dogs and babies do not tell me what to do.

When Racquel is at the house, I have to keep Aubrie away from her so that Aubrie doesn't harass her and so that she doesn't bite Aubrie. Aubrie isn't scared of Racquel, which is both a blessing and a problem.

Aubrie has one of those baby walker things that I call her roller derby car and one of her favorite past times is to race through the house and chase the dogs around, squealing at the top of her lungs. While some may call this animal cruelty, I call it entertainment. That dog in particular is one of the loudest I have ever met and frankly I don't feel too badly for her when the baby chases her around letting out a war cry. I eventually have compassion on her though; Aubrie shouldn't just be allowed to get away with things like that.

While the dogs are not my friends, Aubrie is. Watching her grow has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life thus far, and I am excited to see what the days ahead hold for us. Tune in next time to read about Aubrie's hilarious facial expressions and our many adventures as Aubrie and Auntie Dena.

honest tea

It's been a while...actually I'm not sure I've posted anything since the summer began. Oh sure, I've had a few ideas about posts. A few passionate topics I wanted to address. A couple of doldrums I wanted to express. Frankly, though, I just haven't had time.

This summer has been rough for me--probably rougher than I wanted to admit to anyone. No, definitely not my most difficult; that one was the time Lenny the parasite decided to move into my liver. He even tried to have his mail delivered there, which, as I'm sure you can imagine, is not an easy task in any aspect of the idea. No, this summer was not so bad as that, but it's definitely been trying to catch up to that one.

I have felt...beat up.

Stretched too thin.

Like I was constantly banging my head on an anvil, or a brick, and it was also hitting back. Don't get me wrong, this summer has been full of very enjoyable things. Just maybe too many of them. Without enough sleep, more often than not. It has also been full of quite a few relationship issues--including, but not limited to, almost losing one of my best friends, and getting shafted a couple of times by the same group of people when it came to trying to figure out a new living situation. They almost aren't worth talking about anymore, but both situations were very hurtful. I grew, though, and was strengthened in ways I didn't really expect.

Here is a small taste of what I learned this summer:

1) There will be backstabbers in your life. What do you do when someone talks behind your back when it is none of their dang business? Ignore it. It's childish, pathetic, petty, and a whole array of other comparably menial adjectives.

2) Sometimes the friends who stand with you through hard times are not the ones you were expecting. In the past, I haven't really been able to share struggles I was having with the people around me because it always felt like either a) they had their own problems and didn't need to be saddled with mine too or b) they weren't able to see past their issues well enough to listen to me. I have been thankful for those rare people who were there to listen in those times, as I am thankful for the unexpected ones during this time. The difference now, though, is that I haven't talked to too many people about what I've really been struggling with, and honestly haven't had too many opportunities to do so in the first place, but the friendships that have developed over the last few months have been golden.

3) I have learned a lot about myself, primarily because I have spent a lot of time by myself. Some of it is because a loving friend helped me to see a few things I didn't want to admit, but I have also had a lot of time for reflection. I don't know how many of you know, but I nanny for an 11 month old baby overnight. I'm with her for over half my week sometimes and usually it is just me, her, a couple of wacko dogs (sometimes three), and an idiot cat. None of them can talk to me. This allows for a lot of quiet time. If I wasn't so much as reflecting on myself, I have been observing myself. One important thing I learned is that I am a valuable person. I guess I didn't really believe that before.

4) If you want something, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Definitely you should be in prayer and have patience for whatever it is you're hoping and waiting for, but sometimes you just have to yank yourself up and work for whatever it is you want. It's kind of a balance. I find myself really learning things I only thought I knew before. Funny how that works.

5) Sometimes I just do not care about something I am doing; the only reason I decided to do it was because someone "needed" me. I'm not sure that's the right reason to do something.

Good learning sometimes comes through times of stretching, and man have I been stretched. I maybe overloaded my schedule, but in the end, it is what it is and there isn't anything I can do about it now. The important thing is that I survived and am actually finding myself more and more content with my life--even though not much that I was previously frustrated about has changed. In some cases I am simply resigned, but for the most part I am just determined.

I'm heading into a school year with many snares and pitfalls waiting to grab me, but I know Whose hand I hold, so I know I'll be fine. I may be the talk of the gossip chain of the petty and otherwise unremarkable, but no one can convince me that I am not as great as God says I am, no matter who thinks I can't take care of a cat. Or two. Or who the whole of the Bible College thinks I'm dating. God has me here for a reason, and by golly, I am excited to continue seeing what it is.

In all honesty, this whole blog may have been the unfollowable ramblings of a tired person (I'm falling asleep as I write this), so let me end it as randomly as I possibly can.

I have had a good summer.

It really may not have sounded like it, and honestly doesn't really feel like it some days, but aside from fires and shootings, relationship and sleep issues, I wouldn't take it back. I have nothing to do but thank and praise God, really. I'm thankful I made it through what could have been a lot of junk that could bring me down. I'm thankful for the people who I was able to spend time with. I'm happy I could go to youth camp; that was one of the best weeks I had all summer. I have many more things to be thankful for than to be upset about, and sure, my body and my soul feel beat up, but my spirit is stronger than ever. Proof your attitude doesn't need to be based on circumstances. Well, I'm tired, so I'm going to abruptly end this now. Thanks for reading.

p.s. I also leaped way forward on my caffeine intake this summer, and have also cut back by at least 2/3. I'm proud of myself.